21 July, 2010 Breaking Election News!

With the anouncement of the 6335rd Australian election this week comes with it undeniable evidence of one of the biggest cover-ups in the illustrious career of Australian politics. It all began one chilly summers morning, in the wee hours of the establishment of this great land. It was declared that the ruling class of this newly settled land should be of genetically awesome stock. It was decided that CSIRO scientists of the time would tinker with the human genome in order to include someone the most best traits found in the animal kingdom. This was done to ensure that the leaders of this country would be fair, virtuous and other words that one thinks of when thinking of political leaders.

I hear nothing but good things!

Instead, the CSIRO scientists decided to break early for the pub, so they only managed to include one particular trait from certain plants, the ability to reproduce asexually. Now give this a minute to sink in. There was only one plant/politician hybrid created. Each plantitician is descendant from the original; each dismembered limb dropping off budding into the next generation.

  Yeah, something like that

What issues does this raise for the election? Well, essentially everyone up for election is the same person, as naturally selection in asexually reproducing species is known to act a lot slower than their sexual counterparts. This means men=women, black=white and labor=liberal. Also, all political commentary is now void. Excellent. Now I don't have to listen to it for another 4 weeks.