16th January 2007, PREDICTIVE NEWS! Thats right! Get your news here, first, before it happens!

Hot of the press (its a very hot press indeed, you need an incredibly hot press to break the laws of physics), people in South Northland have started spontaneously eating their own faces. As one eyewitness will say, "I was just sitting there and this teenage youth starting eating his own face with his friends cheering him on." Scientists will not know the cause of this new epidemic of pandemic proportions until further research can will be done. The religous right will has call for a ban on all faces as "they are will driving our young people to eat them". Some argue that this is retarded, to which they retort "God gave us our faces, him will might can easily take them away!". The left will unavailable for comment as they are running around in Siberia naked taunting the new US missile defence system.